Jokes For Engineers

Warning
Some of these jokes will be sexist, racist or just plain silly but they made me laugh.  If you are of a sensitive disposition go back now.

These jokes have been collected over a number of years without saving the credits, so thanks to:  Joke A Day   mailto:join@jokeaday.com  and Dilbert  www.dilbert.com  amongst others for making the internet a fun place.

Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says, "I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it."

"Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?"

"Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator.

"Hm. Well, where do you catch'em?"

"Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp."

"Same here. Hm. How do you catch'em?"

"Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock
the door. Then I jump out, bite'em, shake the crap out of 'em,
and eat 'em!"

"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem.
See, by the time you get done shakin' the crap out of a lawyer, there's nothin' left but lips and a briefcase."

A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."

"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."

"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian."